


Broken Mirrors

by isissa



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drinking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Spoilers, Substance Abuse, Volume 4 spoilers, almost canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11821119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isissa/pseuds/isissa
Summary: An exploration of what happens when Qrow is training with a 10year old Ruby. Qrow's drinking, self destruction, and Tai helping him through it.





	Broken Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of timeskips in this fic, but it should be pretty simple to work out the order of things. I'll add a note at the end in case you're confused.

“Qrow I want you to be a part of this family.” Taiyang insisted, his hands on the kitchen counter in front of him as he stared down Qrow. Across the room the man balled his fists and snarled at Taiyang. He was shaking, and swayed as he took a step forward.

“I don’t give a shit what you think, I’m dangerous!” He growled, taking his flask from the counter and spinning on his heel. He stormed out of the kitchen with Taiyang shouting after him.

“Qrow wait!  – you’re not dangerous!”

The door slammed shut behind him. Qrow wasn’t in any mood to argue. He stalked out into the forest, taking a long swig from his flask. He put the lid back on somewhat reluctantly and slipped it into his pocket. It was snowing outside and he hadn’t brought a jacket. He walked for about a minute before he heard a small voice from behind him.

“Uncle Qrow…?”

“Ruby, go back inside.”

He turned his head to see Ruby standing there, shivering in the cold winter air. She looked so tiny with her hands clutched around the training scythe he’d made for her. She looked like she was about to cry, her face red from the cold. Qrow felt himself pulled over to her by instinct, kneeling down to wrap her coat around her and pull her close for a hug.

“Uncle Qrow, are you okay?”

He swallowed thickly, placing a hand on her hair. “M’fine, kid. Go back to your dad, okay?” His words were slurred slightly.

Ruby pushed off Qrow to look him in the eye. The man avoided her gaze and stared down at the ground between them. He couldn’t look her in the eye, not now…

“Come back with me.” She offered, her voice small, just above a whisper. Qrow shook his head in refusal. Ruby slid her hand down his arm and took his hand in her tiny one, pulling him forward. “Uncle Qrow, don’t leave again. Please stay for a while, please?”

Qrow’s body felt limp, forcing himself to stand on unstable legs. Ruby let go as he stood, a sparkle of hope flashing through her eyes.

“It’s for your own good, go back to Taiyang. You’re shivering.” His voice was shaking, resolve disappearing under Ruby’s fierce gaze. Her eyes welled up with tears and Qrow could feel his stomach drop. Guilt and shame filled him and he took a few steps back. “Ruby, go home. I’m not staying, I’m,”

Ruby sobbed, wiping her eyes with both hands before they gripped her black and red skirt tightly, quivering all the while. “Why? What did I do wrong, I’ll make it up to you, please don’t leave me uncle Qrow!”

Qrow wanted to vomit. His vision was already shaking from the alcohol he’d drowned himself in just to get through his argument with Taiyang without shutting down, and now this. He wanted a drink so badly, but not in front of Ruby.

“You didn’t – you never…” his voice broke and a sob threatened to break out, hanging at the tip of his tongue. He bit his lower lip. _Fuck. Why are you crying?_

“I’ll be good uncle Qrow, I promise, please don’t go…” Ruby was crying and Qrow’s emotions were threatening to overthrow him and make him do the same.

He took another step back and felt himself sway slightly. He needed to leave, he needed a drink, he needed Ruby to stop looking at him like that, her lower lip trembling. He shook his head to try and clear his thoughts. “Ruby, I’m going. Go home. You can’t follow me, you’re not fast enough. Go back to Taiyang right now.” He turned and using incredible speed usually reserved for the heat of battle, disappeared into the forest, leaving Ruby in the snow with tears running down her face.

 

``

 

Qrow was in the backyard with Ruby. The sun was still out, and a large area had been cleared of snow. Ruby was in front of him, swinging around her wooden scythe. It was completely blunt and only had one form, but helped her learn proper form. Qrow had been showing her how to spin it in her hands that afternoon, but wanted to move on to something else since Ruby had picked up the general idea pretty quickly.

“Ready for something more complex, kiddo?” He asked, Ruby turned around so quickly she dropped the scythe, laughing sheepishly as she sidestepped to pick it up.

“Yeah!” Her silver eyes sparkled.

“Alright, watch this.” He turned around and sprinted to the trees that dotted around the outside of Taiyang’s property. He jumped onto one, kicking off it and hitting one adjacent to it with his feet, bouncing from a few more trees before he hit the ground. He turned around and saw Ruby watching him, jaw dropped and eyes wide with amazement.

“You’re going to teach me how to do that?!” She squealed, quite loud despite the distance between them. Qrow jogged over and nodded.

“Yup, think you can handle it kid?”

Ruby nodded enthusiastically. “I was _born_ ready.”

Qrow gave her an encouraging grin. Ruby was incredibly talented for someone her age, only 10 years old, but already incredibly gifted in combat. Her speed was incredible as well, a natural talent blooming from her semblance. He lead her into the forest and explained the fundamentals of controlling one’s speed with enough fine tuning to be able to start and stop incredibly quickly. Ruby gave it a few tries, sprinting across the ground so quickly Qrow couldn’t see her, then coming to a stop. She missed her spot to stop a few times.

As the day rolled on, she got better at stopping, leaving a trail of rose petals behind her whenever she did, which seemed to dissipate into nothingness a short few seconds after they appeared.

A few minutes before sunset could set in, Qrow stood from his place on the ground and waved her over. “It’s nearly dark, but you should try and land on a tree next time, on the side of the trunk, like I showed you earlier. It’s going to be tricky – you can’t wait too long before moving away or you’ll fall. Just jump onto it and then back on to the ground, and not too high up, okay?”

Ruby nodded, bouncing on her feet despite having spent the last few hours sprinting around in circles. The kid had seemingly endless energy…

She and Qrow picked out a tree with a nice, wide trunk and she zipped away from it, getting space to run up. Her first attempt she had stopped just short of the tree, a burst of rose petals signifying her failed attempt. Her second attempt she jumped on to the tree, stopped temporarily, jumped off, but as she came back into view for the landing she stumbled. Qrow figured as much, it was hard to keep balance. She repeated the process a few more times before pulling off a perfectly executed jump and landing.

“Uncle Qrow!” She called out. “Did you see?”

Qrow nodded and gave her a thumbs-up. “Sure did, kiddo! Good job.”

Ruby beamed, a hint of something dangerous in her eyes. Qrow didn’t like that, it’s how she looked before she tried to show off. He stood up and wandered over to her. “Okay, that’s enough for one day Ruby.”

Ruby pouted, kicking her heel into the snow. “It’s not even dark yet…”

Qrow grimaced. “Alright, a few more, then we go inside.”

Ruby nodded and grinned. “Yes!”

Qrow felt like he just lost a battle. Ruby flashed into rose petals again, a lot closer to Qrow than before. He was too busy watching her to step back, and didn’t have enough time to move out of the way before she was jumping from tree to ground, ground to tree. She was scarcely visible apart from the bursts of rose petals she left behind whenever she stopped and took off again. She hit the ground and paused, spinning around to look at Qrow.

“Hey uncle Qrow, watch this!”

Qrow narrowed his eyes, but before he could say anything Ruby disappeared in a burst of petals again. She jumped from one tree, directly to the next, without pausing.

“That’s really impressive, but be careful, Rubes – “ He took a few steps back, trying to put distance between them.

Ruby noticed and moved to a set of trees a bit closer to Qrow, bouncing back and forth. Qrow felt a striking sense of unease at her being so close. His semblance…He walked further back, eyes trained on the bursts of petals.

He felt rising frustration as Ruby followed him around, circling him as she went. “Ruby, let’s go inside kiddo, okay?”

Ruby stopped, just short of a tree, turning to look at Qrow. Qrow felt his stomach drop as she did, his mouth opening to tell her to look where she was going. Ruby didn’t have time to hear it before the side of the ankle made contact with the tree, the force of her movement still propelling her forward. In an instant her ankle twisted and the bark scratched up her leg as she zoomed past it. She fell into the snow just behind the tree and Qrow almost fell over as he ran over to her, stumbling through the snow. Ruby had drawn her knees up to her chest and had tears in her eyes, but she was mumbling loudly, watching him as he ran over to her.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,”

Despite the cold, Ruby was only wearing thin stockings, and the leg that had scraped against the tree had blood running down it. Her stockings were ripped to shreds. Qrow knelt down next to her, swearing under his breath.

“Are you okay?” he asked, picking her up princess style, one arm under her knees and the other holding her back. Ruby nodded, biting back her tears. It hurt, but seeing Qrow’s panicked face hurt more.

“I’m fine, I just got scratched up, we can clean it up at home, okay?”

Qrow only barely seemed to be listening as he set off in a run towards the house. Her foot could be fractured, or broken, or worse, she’d been going fast enough to do some serious damage, if he was further away she probably would have been fine.

_Shit. Shit._

Ruby wrapped her arms around Qrow as she ran with him, worried about how he’d handle this later. She’d been hurt before while training with Qrow, but it wasn’t his fault, even though he’d always acted like it was. Seeing him panic stricken, brows furrowed and jaw set, made her worry much more than the stinging in her leg.

Qrow nudged open the back door and carried her up to the bathroom where he sat her down on the edge of the bathtub, digging through the drawers for a first aid kit. He found the box he was looking for and opened it, searching for some antiseptic. He wet a cloth in the sink and started wiping off the blood from her leg. Ruby stayed still and let him fuss, hoping it would calm him down if she was bandaged up.

“Welcome back you two!” Called Taiyang as he approached the bathroom. Ruby tensed up, knowing the situation was about to get worse. One adult worrying about her was enough, dad would be almost as worried as Uncle Qrow if the past was anything to go by…

Taiyang poked his head into the bathroom and the smile fell from his face when he saw Ruby, perched on the bathub, eyes still sparkling with tears she couldn’t hold in and Qrow kneeling in front of her, tending to her scratches.

“Hey dad,” she choked out, trying to sound casual. It was hard, especially when her leg _really_ hurt.

 _Be brave for dad, Ruby._ She urged herself, wiping her eyes with one hand.

Taiyang blinked, then walked into the bathroom, slowly, taking in the sight. “Ruby, angel, what happened?”

Qrow tore himself away from Ruby to give Taiyang room, who walked over and wrapped Ruby in his arms, holding her close. Ruby sniffled but held in her sobs, hugging Taiyang closely. “I had a stumble, Qrow’s taking care of it.”

Taiyang stepped back, looking back at Qrow. He had pain written across his face, his brow furrowed and mouth in a grimace. His ruby eyes were trained on Ruby’s legs, clutching the bloodied cloth in his hand like a life line. “Oh, right,” Taiyang mumbled, moving out of the way. Qrow shuffled back over and immediately went back to tending to Ruby’s wounds. He unlaced her boots and took them off. Ruby winced as he slid off the right one.

“How’s it feel?” He asked, glancing up at her.

Ruby didn’t really want to answer…it really hurt, and that wasn’t what her uncle needed to hear right now.

“It’s fine, it stings a little bit, maybe…”

Qrow tried to move it and Ruby flinched, despite trying to hold still. She grimaced, trying to force a genuine smile onto her features.

“Ruby, you need to tell me. It’s important.”

Ruby bit at her lip, glancing around the room to avoid looking at him. Right now, he just wanted her to be safe, she knew that, but later, he’d blame himself like he usually did.

She looked back at him and remembered the night she’d found him in the guest bedroom, curled up in a corner with a bucket of vomit next to him. There were bottles of whiskey scattered around him. It was after she’d fallen out of a tree and sprained her wrist. There wasn’t even any blood that time.

“Petal,” Taiyang mumbled, patting down her hair as he stood to the side of her. “you don’t have to lie. Do you think you’ve sprained it, or worse?”

Ruby looked up at him. “It’s…just a sprain, I think…We can ice it. Okay?”

Qrow stood up wordlessly and looked at her face again before he left for the kitchen. Taiyang sat on the edge of the bathtub with Ruby and cradled her head in his arms. Ruby couldn’t stop a few strangled sobs from leaving her throat, burying her head into her father’s chest.

“Is uncle Qrow gonna get angry at himself again?” She asked. Taiyang smoothed down her hair.

“No, I’ll make sure he doesn’t.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s not your fault, angel. Shhh…” He held her close as Qrow walked back into the bathroom. He handed Ruby an ice pack and then ripped off the rest of her torn stocking before wrapping her leg in bandages, the wounds having been cleaned already. There were multiple deep scratches up the side of her calf. Qrow felt knives pierce his stomach every time Ruby winced as he wrapped the bandage around her.

He stood up once he was done, washing his hands in the bathroom sink. He hesitated for a bit, looking like he wanted to join Taiyang in cuddling Ruby, but turned around and left instead. Taiyang got up after a few moments to go after him, but he was already gone.

 

``

 

Qrow stumbled into Taiyang’s house later that night, just after 1am. He took a few steps inside, listening hard for any movement. When he didn’t hear anything, he stalked through the house to the kitchen, opening the cupboard where he’d stowed a bottle of scotch the night before. He turned around and saw Taiyang standing behind him, almost hidden in the darkness of the house save the moonlight that shone through the kitchen windows. Qrow froze.

“Where have you been all day, Qrow?”

Qrow tensed up. He looked out the window, avoiding Taiyang’s scrutiny. “out.”

Taiyang sighed, slowly and deliberately. His voice was patient, but it tinged with hurt. “You need to stop doing this.”

Qrow suppressed a bitter chuckle, unscrewing the lid of the scotch. He raised it to his lips but found it pulled away from him. Taiyang was uncomfortably close, hand around the bottle. He felt anger burn inside the bottom of his gut, a small flame flickering. He took a breath to quell it.

“Let go, Tai.”

Taiyang didn’t, meeting Qrow’s eyes in a fiery gaze. The taller of the two men pulled the drink from Taiyang’s hands, pressing the bottle to his lips and taking a sip. It burned on the way down. It never stopped burning, no matter how much Qrow drank.

Taiyang’s look hardened as Qrow sipped on his drink, frozen on the spot, his body language threatening. He seemed taller than usual to the dark-haired man, like a disapproving parent.

Qrow threw back the bottle and took a few more sips.

“Get the fuck away from me.” Qrow growled. It came out as a slur. His head was spinning.

“No, hand the scotch over.”

Qrow groaned and shoved Taiyang, slightly harder than he meant to, stepping around him. Taiyang grabbed his arm before he could storm out of the kitchen.

Qrow spun around and glared at his hand, then at Taiyang’s face. “You can’t stop me. I’m an adult. Let _go._ ”

Taiyang pulled on Qrow’s arm, his left reaching for Qrow’s scotch. He got hold of it for a moment but Qrow jerked back and tried to step away from him. Taiyang reached again and managed to snatch the bottle out of his hands. Qrow and Taiyang made eye contact for a only a second before Qrow took a few steps forward, Taiyang moving back to put distance between them. Qrow miss-stepped, his senses dulled, and tripped, falling forward onto Taiyang. Taiyang didn’t have time to react and they both tumbled to the floor. The scotch bottle hit the ground and smashed. Qrow sat up, straddling Taiyang’s hips. Qrow buried his hands in his face.

 _“Fuck._ ” He mumbled.

Taiyang reached up and tried to grab Qrow’s hands as they ran through his hair and pulled on it, cursing under his breath. Qrow felt the other man’s hands and leaned forward, slamming his palms down on the floor either side of Taiyang’s head.

“Fuck you.” Qrow slurred.

“Qrow,” The blonde warned.

“Why can’t you just,” Qrow growled. His voice broke at the last word though and he started to shake. “just let me do this. Please. Leave me alone, Tai.”

Tai reached up and wiped away Qrow’s tears. “No, I won’t. I’m not letting you do this again.”

Qrow growled like an animal and rolled off Tai, over the broken glass to their side. He pulled himself to his feet and tried to run for the door. Tai was up after him, much faster due to the other man’s drunken state, standing in front of the door with his arms held out wide.

His eyes fixed on Qrow’s hand, which was holding something. He was shaking much more violently now, his arms and legs trembling.

“Qrow,” Red eyes met Taiyang’s, he looked desperate, dangerous. Taiyang noticed there was a red smudge on his right hand. “Qrow…you’re not…”

Qrow, hand still in a fist to hide what was in it, pulled up his left sleeve. He opened his fist enough to grip the broken glass in his hand, and Taiyang started. He leaped forward and grabbed Qrow’s wrists, blood flowing down from the palm of their right hand.

“Fuck you!” Qrow shouted, his voice broken as he started to cry. “Get off me, fuck you!” Taiyang struggled to pull the glass out of Qrow’s hand, throwing it as far away from the two of them as he could. He held Qrow’s wrists in his hands, sure the amount of force needed to keep Qrow still was giving him bruises.

“You need to calm down.” Taiyang urged, walking Qrow backwards towards the table to the side of the kitchen. He sat Qrow down in one of the chairs. Qrow was crying openly, his hands balled into fists.

Taiyang used his foot to pull a chair over for him to sit on, pulling it close to Qrow and sitting down, holding his wrists all the while. Qrow would likely hit himself or try to run if he let go.

Qrow was hunched down, looking tiny despite being around the same height as Taiyang. Taiyang leaned forward and rested his forehead on Qrow’s, his eyes closed. “Shhh,” he soothed. “calm down Qrow, I’ve got you.”

“I hate you.” Qrow hissed. He didn’t mean it, but he was furious at being held down. “Let me go, bastard.”

Taiyang nodded. “I know, just relax, okay? Beat me up tomorrow.”

Qrow’s hands lessened their tension, though he still quivered like a leaf, looking like a beaten and caged animal. Tai released his wrists so the crying man could wipe his eyes.

“Tai…” he mumbled. “I feel sick.”

Tai nodded and stood up, walking over to the sink to get him a glass of water. He came back with a large mixing bowl in case Qrow threw up, which seemed likely, considering how much scotch he’d managed to get down his throat.

Qrow took the glass off him gratefully and took long, shaky sips from it. When it was empty he put it back on the table. Taiyang scooted closer to him again and let him rest his head on Taiyang’s shoulder. He seemed too tired to keep crying, even though his core still shivered and his breaths were shaky and uneven.

They stayed like that for a long time.

 

``

Ruby could hear someone coughing when she got out of bed. She shuffled out of her bedroom and towards the bathroom. A voice she recognised as dad was speaking softly.

“I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

Ruby realised the retching and coughing she could hear must have been her uncle, and she froze in place. Taking a moment to steel herself, she shuffled over and poked her head through the door. Neither of the men inside noticed her. Qrow was hunched over the toilet bowl, his face streaked with tears and eyes shut tight. Taiyang was stroking his hair and back, knelt next to him.

“I’m sorry.” Qrow mumbled. He sounded so defeated. Ruby’s heart felt like it had just broke.

“It’s alright, you big silly. Just relax.”

Qrow retched again, and Ruby walked away as she heard the sound of Qrow vomiting. She managed to stop herself from running into the bathroom to hold her uncle, deciding he’d just be more worried if he knew he’d woken her up. She climbed into bed and pretended not to hear anything else.

``

Qrow and Taiyang sat back down in the kitchen early in the morning, just before sunrise. The sunny-haired man was making them both some food, having worked up an appetite from being awake all night. Qrow’s stomach was empty, but the smell of bacon was making him nauseous, despite being very tempting. Taiyang emptied the contents of the pan onto two separate plates and slid one to Qrow, who was perched on the bar stool in front of the kitchen’s island counter. Taiyang stood on the other side.

“Do you feel any better?”

“I feel like death…but yeah.”

Taiyang gave a gentle smile.

“You know, what happened with Ruby, that could happen at any time. With anyone. Bad things just happen.”

Qrow tensed up. He tried to not look annoyed.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for Ruby getting hurt, it’s not healthy,”

Qrow stabbed his bacon with a little too much force, looking up at Taiyang. “I’m not blaming myself for no reason, Tai.”

Taiyang sighed, brushing his hair out of his face. “Look, your semblance, it’s not…we don’t care. We just want you here with us.”

“Well that’s easy for you to say.” Qrow growled. He glanced at the flask he’d left on the counter last night. Taiyang hadn’t moved it, for some reason. “You don’t have it. You don’t deal with it, every single day.”

“I’m not trying to invalidate you Qrow,”

“Really? That’s a real funny way of going about it.”

“Qrow, please,”

Qrow dropped his knife and fork and gripped the edge of the kitchen counter. He looked up at Tai. “Listen.” He took a deep, deliberate breath. “I love you. And Ruby, and Yang, so much. You have no idea.”

“We’re family, of course I do,”

Qrow cut him off. “No, you don’t. You don’t know how this feels. If I’m around, bad things happen to all of you. If I don’t stay as far away from Ruby as possible when we train together, she always falls, or trips, or whatever else.” Qrow leaned back on his stool, burying his head in his hands. “I mean, _fuck_ , remember when Yang’s hair caught on fire because I was there when we sang happy birthday?”

“You have no way of knowing if any of that was your fault,” Taiyang started to say, but Qrow cut him off again.

“But most of it was. That’s how it is. It’s me. It’s my fault.” He blinked hard, shook his head, and continued. “You don’t know, Tai. Everyone gets hurt when I’m here.”

“How do you think it feels when you leave?” The mug in Taiyang’s hand suddenly broke, and steaming hot tea spilled over his leg and the floor. He cursed and bent over to pick up the pieces. Qrow’s hands balled into fists.

“That was me.”

Taiyang looked up. “Qrow, it was an old mug. It could have happened any day.”

“It only happened because _I_ was here. Are you deaf?” Qrow stood up suddenly. “Why are you acting like this? Why don’t you hate me?!”

“Qrow I want you to be a part of this family.” Taiyang insisted, his hands on the kitchen counter in front of him as he stared down Qrow. Across the room the man balled his fists and snarled at Taiyang. He was shaking, and swayed as he took a step forward.

“I don’t give a shit what you think, I’m dangerous!” He growled, taking his flask from the counter and spinning on his heel. He stormed out of the kitchen with Taiyang shouting after him.

He stormed out into the backyard, where it was still snowing.

 

``

 

He’d left Ruby by herself in the forest. Still, it was too late to go back now, probably, he’d tell himself that. It wasn’t far into the forest, only a minute’s walk into the safety of her backyard.

He sat down in a clearing, back pressed against a tree, glancing up at the early morning sky. He pressed his flask to his lips and drank, taking several sips before he retched and gagged, struggling to hold down his drink. He’d left without a coat and his skinned burned from the cold. Suddenly, his scroll beeped. He pulled it out and took a few seconds to focus on the message he’d received.

Need you at Beacon. It’s urgent. Fly here. -oz

_Of course._

Qrow stood up, throwing his scroll into his pocket. He’d need to transform in order to get to Beacon. He prayed that Ruby had the sense to turn around and go home when he’d asked, before transforming into a crow and flying off in the direction of Beacon Academy. He’d find a transport ship and stow away on the way.

 

**Author's Note:**

> so, scene 2 (ruby and qrow training) happened first, then qrow and taiyangs argument, then qrow being comforted by taiyang, then taiyang making qrow food, and then finally scene 1 and the last scene happen last, tying into one another. 
> 
> thanks for reading! comments and kudos mean a lot to me, <3 
> 
> by the way, if qrow seemed uncharacteristically angry at tai, it's because he's lashing out at the person who's trying to stop him from self harming. he doesn't actually hate Taiyang. tai is a precious boi who just wants the best for him <3


End file.
